Hockey Sucks and Canadians are Weird

So my alleged brother's favorite horkey squadron, the Vancouver Canadian Slurs, proved its ability to choke in the playoff by achieving the most difficult of feat - choking at choking.  Apparently, they had a 3-0 series lead and had to win in extra ends of the last game.  They do know that the term Canuck is pretty much a derogatory slur against Canadians, right? 

What is the deal with Canadians, ice and cylindrical solid shaped "sporting equipment".  i guess it is bad enough they like curling (hurry hard), but then you add hockey.  Hockey is kind of like soccer (football to the rest of the world) on skates and on a thin layer of ice. Think of a hockey stick as a foot substitute that you can hit people with.  The positions are the same, it is just on ice and using a smaller ball and bigger goalie (relative to the goal) - i guess the "ball" does travel a couple of miles kilometers per hour faster. 

Hockey is probably one of the worst "sports" to televise.  i guess it is fitting that the game is played on ice, because watching it feels glacial. Yes, i have been to an NHL game - i think in Columbus, Ohio.  Another big problem is with the structure of the game itself.  Apparently the game is segmented into 5 periods of 20 minutes each.  Unfortunately, every other period is dead air (kind of like 2 half times).  Three periods, why three periods of game play?  Another television problem with hockey is that it really lack marketability.  i mean the average hockey player (assuming they speak English) is less interesting than a Mormon missionary. 

Now for weird Canadian stuff.  i take it that Canadians are generally pacifist (except hockey) hockey loving hoseheads.  So, they are basically a hybrid between Dudley Do-Right and the McKenzie brothers (from Strange Brew) - with universal health care.  It is an odd mix of American and British influence.  Apparently, they really like their Molson and Elisonore beers.  The land is also in a state of permafrost - requiring outdoor activities to be done on ice.  Apparently, they have a weird, yet superior, system of measurements and speak two languages.  i think the whole nation of Canada (come on Quebec - you can get the .1% you missed last time) is smaller in population than the state of California.  Canadians also have a habit of ending every sentence with the word "eh?" - making every statement they say seem like a question? 

Get this, Vancouver (not the better one in WA) is not on Vancouver island - but Victoria is.  i guess British Columbia (why is there no American Columbia?) does have its uses though - where else would movies/tv show be filmed?