Wednesday, May 28, 2025

Romantic Disasters: My Second Date and Other Confessions

If there ever was a woman capable of "saving" me (religious context), it would have been Katie.  Katherine plus my last name sounded so good too.

In my tumultuous first year of college, i met a smart (honor student), thin, red-haired, blue-eyed girl who wanted to be an accountant.  She was what could be called a "ginger" - covered with freckles.  Freckles and moles kind of scare me, since my alleged father died of melanoma.  Blue-eyed red heads might as well be unicorns (almost mythical).  i'm a sucker for blue eyes and vision impairment.
She was also a kind of a bible thumper.  Kind of is an understatement.  In many ways, college appeared to be a culture shock for her.  Despite that she did drop the f-bomb while talking to me a few times.

After a while we started talking and she would sit on the same couch as me (though we never actually touched).  i wasn't initially physically attracted to her, but over time a sort of emotional attachment grew (at least on my side).  Emotional attraction made her look better by comparison.  My neighbor across the hall knew i liked her before i did (he was dating her roommate).  i looked forward to talking to her - though i'm not sure we ever talked substantially.  i wanted her to want me.  She didn't.  i wished she could have been the one.  Nothing is ever that easy.

The TV room is an enduring theme in my college dorm experience.  It started when i disliked my roommate (my first roommate actually offered someone money to beat me up) so i would hang out there.  That is where i met and interacted with people partially because i've always been socially inept.  It is a scenario where people come to me.

i knew as soon as i got to know her i knew that she was marriage material.  Unfortunately for me, she said she would never marry me because i didn't believe in god.  If only i could have seen the heaven in her eyes (sorry Loverboy).  She lent me Cool Rock and Bon Jovi crossroads.

She told me that i would go on my first date with her.  That is kind of how her mother and father met (her mother was a missionary who was killed in Sudan and her father later remarried).  i told her i would go on a date with her if it was a one and one.  One date i paid for, one she did.  After putting it off for a while we went on a date to Dairy Queen for Blizzards.  i got Butterfinger, she wanted Heath, but they didn't have it.  Over the years, Heath has kind of grown on me.  Don Juan i am not.

Now, we jump forward to a second date.  It did not go well by any measure.  We decided that we would go to Subway.  Problem was Subway was 2+ miles away and it was over 80° outside.  i am not good in the heat (short-tempered and miserable).  So, i thought it would be a good idea to pre-hydrate.  Unfortunately, i drank too much water.  When we finally arrived at Subway i had to make a B-line for the bathroom.  To her it looked like i disappeared.  On the way back she said something that got under my skin and i guess i kind of disagreed vocally with it.  Probably religion related (or how i would never end up with her).

The school year ended, and she was going to check out of her dorm room.  i could have told her the Resident Assistant Walter was in an office, but she didn't ask.  i really didn't want her to go.  She's the first girl i ever cried over (once or twice after the school year ended)

A year later, she visited the school, and her roommate led her to my dorm room.  She said that she could tell i missed her by my facial expression (which at times betrays me).  It was nice seeing her out of the blue.  i never saw her again.


Now for some more confessions nobody will ever read or care about
* The first time i ever told a woman i loved her was a mistake.  i didn't mean to.  i was singing along to "Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden.  In that song there is kind of a quiet saying of that phrase.  i correctly stated that.  She saw it as a declaration.  i just went with it, because on some level i did

* My first kiss was senior year of college, so too was my 100th.  Since then, far less.

* i'm one of those annoying people who would say "i love you" dozens of times a day - i know overkill, but i meant it (or at least thought i did).  Also, would over apologize.  Sad that i needed frequent affirmations due to my inability to fully trust anyone.


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