- i did not have sexual relations with that woman. i really, really, really wanted to - but she was never willing to commit to it. She was more focused on the pre-show than the main event.
* Mannequin (1987) is one of my favorite movies of all time.
* i never completely got over my college girlfriend (and doubt i ever will). i knew she was the only chance i was ever going to get at what i wanted. The dorm environment being what it was - far more conducive to developing a relationship for someone like me. My only chances with her post-college (had to be achieved during college) were engagement or pregnancy. Really wish either would have been on the table (especially the latter).
* If i could choose a lifetime of memories with a woman who loved me or living another day, i would take the memories every time.
* Have kind of a long memory - especially for details i don't want to remember. Right, maroon Ford Explorer playing "How Forever Feels" on the radio while heading to the mall right before Valentine's Day.
* Always hated myself for being too emotional
* i have an almost paralyzing fear of rejection/failure.
* Slight perfectionist streak: like things to be orderly and predictable.
* Never thought i was good enough at anything. Always had a little self-doubt.
* Can't handle situations where i cannot plan or have any semblance control
* Spent a little time in the TV room at college
* Turns out my survival instinct is weak. Much of my life, i've wished i could go to sleep and never wake up. It is not in me to self-terminate. Tried to kick start it by moving to an unfamiliar area. However, that just caused more small issues to surface.
* i do not feel comfortable in social situations
* i cannot see anything in the dark. Yes, i have walked into walls/doorways - a few times drawing blood.
* i was a mediocre student who never learned to study. Of course, i was near the top of more curves than you'd think. Fast Multiple Choice test taker too. i never really tried because i knew i wouldn't be good enough.
* i'm a really bad writer. Want further proof - i could give 978 other examples than this post. Don't look up the term "lyrical abominations".
* i hate fractions: if you have to use fractions, your system of measurement sucks. If you want me to do math, put a dollar sign in the question. Also hate geometry/trigonometry
* i once got 13 stitches in my head after jumping over a baby/dog gate too close to a kitchen doorway.
* i peed myself several times is elementary school because i was uncomfortable asking teachers to use the bathroom. Very uncomfortable in situations with people in authority.
* False started Kindergarten. Started less than a month after my 5th birthday, did not last the whole year.
* Once got on the wrong bus to school and ended up at a different elementary school (dividing line between schools was just down the street), other bus stop was closer to my house.
* The scent of beer nauseates me. Something about the smell (hops or yeast) evokes a slight gag reflex
* Don't feel comfortable in an apartment setting - not secure, feel like i can't do anything (TV/radio volume at 1). Even leaving the apartment if the neighbor's door was open caused me issues.
* Had Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome (extra electrical pathway in the heart), which sometimes caused irregular heartbeat. For a few months after college, i'd feel this phenomenon at night and chalked it up to potential panic attacks. With something like that you have to wonder if you really are completely over it. Had some problems with vasovagal syncope in the past too (limited period of time).
* Told i once cut my sister's typewriter cord with a metal pair of scissors because she wouldn't pay attention to me. i don't remember it, but i do remember seeing scissors that were partially melted. Really unsure how i didn't get substantially shocked by the experience.
* Kind of prone to mild panic (especially while playing video games).
* Don't drive: partially because i saw it as too stressful (so much could go wrong) and lack of self-confidence. Wonder if life would have been better if i would have been more normal in that regard. Probably a little. Not great at processing stimuli and depth perception of moving objects.
* Brought up in a strict Mormon household. Never had a smoked or had a drink of coffee or alcohol. Don't agree with their views on premarital sex though.
* Hate dating, too much pretending. Wish i would have been assigned a mate at 13-14 years old.
* i hate that "modern technology" needs to be constantly updated and always connected.
* i'm essentially 15.75 years old (in terms of rights of passage). i cannot understand modern women, but don't have the life experience of someone in my age group. Women my age cannot give me all the things i want (probably not capable of them myself).
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