Happy Valentine's Day

Happy humiliation ritual day for the forlorn and broken hearted. Or as some of you call it... Valentine's Day. 

The movie One Crazy Summer summarizes my "holiday" best: "rose are red, violets are blue. Love will have nothing to do with you".  The cute fuzzy bunny gang must be dealt with. 

This post took a short detour off a cliff, maybe start with the first paragraph after the page break the skip the italic section. i put an extra enter for the next section.

i always viewed dating as one of the levels of hell in Dante's Inferno (yeah, referencing a book i've never read). i would have been perfectly fine with an assigned lab partner at 14. Dating is like going through a minefield with a blindfold on and 30-pound weights strapped onto your legs.  Or maybe riding an unfinished roller coaster - it might be awesome or end in disaster (one is way more likely).  In some ways dating is like gravity - falling won't kill you, the sudden stop will. 

You might want to skip the italicized next two paragraphs. WTMI

Riding in a purple/mauve Ford Explorer with her mother - J* on the way to a mall while listening to Kenny Chesney's "How Forever Feels" and other country songs on the radio.  Getting back to the dorm and falling asleep emotionally exhausted.  The horror, the horror.  Though such a thing never happened, right Panda x2x Wintercat of the girl scouts? Damn straight.

i know you were like "I Don't Have the Heart" - James Ingram.  Some things are just hard to let go (and i have a borderline ridiculous memory for things i tried so hard to forget).  i don't blame you. You probably made the right call.  It still hurt like hell, and with nobody to replace you (once bitten eight million times shy). Doubly so, because i knew it was my only chance. Yes, i really loved you once - i was also almost addicted to you (my body would shake waiting to read emails).  As much as i wanted to trust you - i could never completely.  i definitely would have followed through - even though i had doubts it was the right thing to do.  Some can't remember useless stuff, some of us can't forget.  Sorry for everything in the mushroom cloud eclipse.  Typing to the universe, because i know she'll never read this. 

i always hope Rom-coms and pop songs wouldn't lie to me (did they ever).  i always hoped for Savage Garden "I Knew I Loved You" or Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet".  So, let's list some of my favorite unrealistic propaganda. As much as you may want it to be love, love, love - eventually there will be a "I Want Your Sex" - George Michael component.  Wondering if they really ever wanted you, or they were playing a game. 

First, stages of a relationship (not necessarily all in order):

1. Foolish Heart - Steve Perry, My Favorite Waste of Time - Owen Paul
2. I Want to Know What Love Is / Waiting for A Girl Like You - Foreigner
3. I'm Not in Love - 10CC or I'm Not In Love - BB Mak, You Ruined Me - JC Chasez 
4. First Time - Lifehouse, I Want You - Savage Garden, I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd
5. Help Me Fall - Mark Wills, How Can I Fall - Breathe
6. Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden
7. Drunk On You - Luke Bryan, Hard Habit to Break - Chicago
8. All In - Lifehouse, Heaven - Bryan Adams

That is ignoring all the fear and doubt, most relationships will probably fork either one or two places. Mine never forked to "Until the End of Time" - Foreigner, "Now and Forever" - Richard Marx, or "I Do" - Mark Wills (or 98°).  No body will ever be like "All I Need is a Miracle" - Mike and the Mechanics for me.  Mine forked to:

• Hands to Heaven - Breathe
• Missing You - John Waite
• Someday - Glass Tiger
• What Becomes of the Brokenhearted - Paul Young
• Does She Love That Man - Breathe
• Shattered Dreams - Johnny Hates Jazz
• Razor Blade - Luke Bryan
• Love Stinks - J. Geils Band
• Everything About You - Ugly Kid Joe
• Kissing A Fool - George Michael
• When You Loved Me - Richard Marx
• Over You - Daughtry
• Somebody Kill Me Please - Adam Sandler (Wedding Singer)
• I Can't Hate You Anymore - Nick Lachey
• Not Meant to Be - Theory of a Deadman
• Heaven Help Me - Deon Estus
• King of Wishful Thinking - Go West

So, what are some of the strange "rom coms" i sometimes watch and am lied to by? In no particular order (than what i thought of them in).

1) Boys and Girls - yes, Jason Biggs did rock in that one. A tale of two people who's lives were linked at different times (especially in college).  But falling for a female named Jennifer will likely never end well. Kind of the whole - they were fated to be in each other's life thing. Wish i would've had that. Also, "If I Don't Tell You Now" by Ronan Keating is a pretty good song.

2) The Wedding Singer - good soundtrack, awesome setting time period.

3) Notting Hill - kind of Britishy, but there is something aboot it. Decent soundtrack

4) Just Friends - kind of an Xmas movie though. Watch out for the "friend zone".

5) Mannequin - maybe stretching it.  Where can i find my mannequin? Once again, the fated relationship.

i was on the verge of writing something, but that passed.  If you want to see the insanity for yourself - look at my other blog (Lyrical Abominations of My Design) Check from college Fall - Blue Notebook/After College. See the growth from longing to doubt, to longing to longing to be longing. Also really, really, really bad lyrical songwriting/poetry (and lots of it).  i had no idea what blindsided me and left me hopeless longing for that which was never truly possible.